Miracles and Clean Rooms!

Friday was my IUI.  Now we just wait and see.  We're staying positive about it though!  But we thought since we are waiting for a baby we should make room for one.  So, we cleaned out the spare bedroom which has mostly been to hold extra crap and wedding stuff (yes, we got married in 2009), it had a brief use as a guest room for a couple days last year, but went right back to being a mess after.  No really, it was a mess.

 Before

After!

Of course, a few things still need to be done before a baby can go in there, but it's come a long way in a few shorts hours!  I mean, you can see the floor, that's gotta be good.  That bear on the futon was given to me by my now husband back when we were in college.  That's perfect for a baby room!

While cleaning out this room, I found a few things!  A $50 gift card to Bed, Bath and Beyond from our shower.  Seriously.  A little tin box with letters from high school.  And a few random photos.

On the left we have my little brother, he was like 4, he's almost 18 now.  And on the right is me, my mom, and dad.  This is the last photo of us together.  Memories!

We're hoping to make some new memories in that spare bedroom, I'm thinking late nights and early mornings with a beautiful baby.  Until then, I think I'll be doing some yoga and reading in that room.  I'm hoping it's prenatal yoga, and "What to Expect When You're Expecting" reading though.  :)

Kind of love this...

After the birth, what a family needs

Babies on the brain

With being in the process of IUI (intrauterine insemination for those not lucky enough to have experience with infertility!), I definitely have babies on the brain!  I've already decided on the nursery color (grey, of course), we've agreed on a boy name (which means we'll probably end up with a girl, since we can't agree on a girl name), and I've even started adding things to my Amazon wish list for baby (is that weird?).  I just happened to be looking at strollers on Target.com and I saw these strollers that made me laugh.

Peg Perego Aria Twin Stroller

Peg Perego Triplette Stroller

Twins are 25% more likely with IUI and triplets are less than 5% more likely!  Twins I can handle (hopefully) but anything more and I'm not sure I could handle it.  Of course, you handle what you have to, but I'm small and I have bad balance so I'm not sure my body could actually carry three (or more) babies at once.  That's not to say, I won't be happy with whatever I get, but I'm really just aiming for one!  Something more like this.

Mia Moda Energi Stroller

Cookies and other sweets

It's Sunday night so why not make some cookies?!  I decided to try a few new recipes I found online.  First, I baked some chocolate chip oat protein nuggets and then I rolled up some raw vegan chocolate chip cookie dough balls.  I almost forgot the peanut butter for the nuggets, I had them on the cookie sheet ready to go in the oven when I remembered!  I added protein powder to the dough balls and used actual chocolate chips.  I'm not vegan, so I used what I had.  The dough balls didn't stay together too easily either, maybe because of the protein powder, but I doubt it.  Both are pretty good, different than what I'm used to, but will definitely hit the spot when I'm looking for a sweet treat!  

Yesterday, I met up with an old friend who was doing me a favor.  As a thank you, I brought her coffee and baked a cake.  I had seen this chocolate peanut butter fun cake in my latest Bon Appetit magazine and really wanted to make it!  I didn't realize it at first, but the cake itself was vegan.  The peanut butter icing was not, however.  Either way, it was delicious!  I think my friend would agree.

I guess it was a pretty good weekend for baking!  I didn't even have any plans to bake when I left work Friday.  Funny how what you set out to do and what you actually do are usually so far from each other!

Feeling Guilty

Last week I posted about getting back on track with Livefit but unfortunately, that didn't happen.  I started shots for IUI and found out that I needed to keep the physical activity to a minimum.  I've been waiting too long to be ruin my chances so I can go to the gym, so I stayed home and tried to relax.  I feel guilty about it, but I have to think about what's most important right now.  What's important right now is giving myself shots every night at 10 pm, going for ultrasounds and blood work every other morning before work and putting all my positive energy into making this WORK.  I want this to be a one time thing.  I want to make sure that this year for my birthday, I'm getting good news and not bad.
In other news, I finally finished my personal training certification.  It only took me 2.5 years!  It's such a load off my shoulders!  Of course, I have no idea what I'm going to do with it, but I'm just glad I got it!  I'd love to use it to help me get into writing for magazines etc.  We shall see.

My life right now

Today is Sunday and I'm getting ready for the week.  I've fallen off the fitness train the last few weeks, but I plan to jump back on tomorrow!  I have a lot going on right now, but I'm hoping to pull it all together and start getting things done!

The photo kind of sums up my life right now.  I just ordered a bunch of stuff from bodybuilding.com, I bought new lifting gloves (on clearance at Target!), then there's my prenatal gummy vitamins and the sharps container to hold all my discarded meds stuff for the IUI I just started.  See, on one side I'm trying to take control of my body and transform it into something I love and on the other side, I'm letting medicine take it over and help me create something I've been having trouble creating on my own (with my husband) not matter how much love I have for it.  So, like I said, a lot going on.  Part of me, doesn't want to push too hard in the gym, for fear that it will hurt my chances of getting pregnant, but I also want to make sure I'm healthy enough to create and carry a healthy baby for 40 weeks.  I go back to the doctor on Tuesday (blood work and ultrasounds every other day for about a week and a half!) so hopefully I'll see a doctor for more than 3 minutes this time and get a chance to ask about the weight lifting.  Until then, I'm starting Livefit back up tomorrow (I should be at week 10, but I think I'm going to start with week 8 since I've been off a few weeks) and I'm going to keep my weights on the lighter side for now.  I'm thinking heavy weights won't actually hurt until I'm pregnant, but I don't want to take any chances!

I gave myself my first shot last night and let me tell you, that video could stand to go a little slower!  I had to keep rewinding.  I'm pretty sure I lost some of the medicine trying to get an air bubble out and I'm pretty sure the air bubble never got out.  But, I'm still alive so, I guess I didn't screw up too much.  I'm hoping it gets easier!  The actual shot barely hurt.  I'm used to needles, spent more time than most in a hospital, but I still wasn't sure about giving myself shots.  Definitely not as bad as giving yourself a bikini wax!  :)

Crap day

I gotta be honest, today kinda blew.  I'm not pregnant, again, so now I have to start IUI in a few days.  I was REALLY hoping that even though I already paid for the medicine (and it's living in my refrigerator currently) that I'd be pleasantly surprised this month and just BAM, get pregnant the old fashioned way!  Guess not.  So, once I realized this, my mood took a plunge today.  I almost had a total fit at Wegman's tonight because they didn't have everything bagels and then I watched a guy take the last 8 slice pork roll (I like my pork roll thin) and almost really started to cry.  Luckily, I spotted an 8 slice shoved in with 4 slices. I realize that these things don't matter, but I was already in a crap mood so these things just seemed that much worse!
If I have to look on the bright side, the monthly visitor came a day early this month, so I get to start IUI earlier, which means I will hopefully be pregnant sooner!  Ha.  The sooner the better, it's getting close to two years people!  Did I also mention that I would find out if the IUI works right around my birthday?  Considering last year, I had a miscarriage a week before my birthday and two ruptured cysts, getting good news this year I think is not too much to ask!  I might even end up with twins!  That would be crazy.