Wednesday, May 30, 2012

I do love watches.

I've always liked watches, and I tend to like "guy" watches better than "girl" watches.  Does anybody remember the watch Angelina Jolie used to wear with the big leather band?  I had that watch.  I also had a hot pink version.  More recently, I've fallen for Michael Kors watches.  I started with a "girl" silver MK watch and then I discovered that I could wear the "boy" ones!  Last year, Nordstrom's was having a sale and I bought a silver men's watch with a black face and red accents.  I liked that it was a little different than all the others.  This year, Nordstrom's was having the same sale and I just couldn't resist.  I bought two more watches!

The first watch is a little heavier and what I like to call "rugged", the second is rose gold but I like that it's a little different with the grey face.  Each watch was a little on the expensive side, but I pretty much got two for the price of one not on sale.  Plus, I had birthday money I saved.  A lot of people think it's crazy to spend a lot of money on a watch, but it's something you wear everyday!  And remember, I didn't pay full price!

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

IVF in the works.

I suppose it's unusual for me to talk about my infertility issues, but I'm kind of to the point where I just don't care anymore.  It's a huge part of my life right now, a way bigger part than I'd like it to be.  One miscarriage, 4 rounds of Clomid, 3 IUIs and now onto IVF (In-vitro Fertilization), this is not how I expected my road to a baby to go.  But, I'd be lying if I said my life has ever been easy.  So, fine, we'll do it the hard way.
I had my "next step consult" a few weeks ago.  I made the appointment a few weeks prior when I still wasn't sure I'd need it (if the third IUI worked, I wouldn't) because I didn't want to waste any time or be told I'd have to skip a cycle due to everything being so time sensitive.  It ended up that my appointment landed on Day 1 of my cycle (TMI, maybe? ha) and I was very eager to get the process started.  I was not happy when the doctor told me I wouldn't be able to start this cycle.  The next day I decided to contact another doctor, if I had a month to wait, I may as well look into my options.  Especially because I hadn't been too happy with my experience so far.  The doctors are okay, but some of the staff leaves something to be desired and there have been a few times where I've felt like they don't really care about me or my quest to get pregnant.  The staff can lack compassion sometimes which is odd considering what the subject matter is.  A bunch of women trying to have babies unsuccessfully for at least a year, usually filled with hormones!  They need a little love!
I called and made an appointment with another doctor and then requested my files from my doctor.  Funny how the next day I got a call saying I'd be starting IVF this cycle!  I've been on birth control since last Saturday, that will be over Jan. 2 and then I'll start on shots.  I'll go in for surgery to retrieve all my eggs (hopefully there will be a lot) mid to late June.  And then we'll see what happens!
I went in for my second meeting on IVF last Wednesday.  I went a lone because my husband had to work.  I didn' think it would be a big deal.  I was wrong.  Midway through the meeting I was asked how I'd feel about terminating a pregnancy if say we transferred 3 embryos (this is unlikely because multiples freak me out slightly) and I ended up pregnant with triplets but one wasn't doing well.  Would I be okay, at 11 weeks with terminating the one that wasn't doing well?    I was not expecting this question.  NOT AT ALL.  And between the stress, the hormones, and the heavy subject matter of the question, I lost it.  I got hysterical in the doctor's office.  Total mess.  Eleven weeks is very close to the 12 week mark when we're all told is the point where pregnancy viability gets a lot safer.  I'm still not sure what I'd do.  But, I'm hoping I never have to actually make that decision.  One, MAYBE two babies is the goal!  Healthy, that's what matters most.
I saw this blog post tonight and really think when I do finally have that baby, I'd love a photographer in the room.  Those photos are just one in a lifetime!  Maybe I'll see how much my wedding photographer would charge?  Probably a fortune, but we'll see.  Gotta get there first!

Monday, May 14, 2012

Life On Hold

I feel like my life is on hold right now.  My whole life basically revolves around trying to have a baby right now, between the shots and the blood work and the ultrasounds every other day and then the waiting to see if it worked and then when it doesn't work waiting to try it all again.  I was thinking tonight about going on a vacation with my husband.  It's been a couple of years since we had a real vacation together (frankly, Knoebels doesn't count and actually was only something I started because I thought we'd have a baby by now).  I want to go to Mexico or Greece, anywhere that requires a bathing suit and a passport.  But, I can't plan vacation when I have to be at the doctor so often and so I wait until I am pregnant, but at this rate, who knows when or even if that is going to happen?!  I could take a break from trying to get pregnant for a little while, but I feel like that would be bad idea since I have the insurance right now and there's no guarantee I'll have my current job forever.  I would not be a happy camper if I didn't take advantage of my current insurance and then lost the opportunity!  So instead, I'll keep going.  I'll put the rest of my life on hold, (I can't even go to the gym!), and move on to the next step of IVF.  I'm not happy about it, but I am grateful that at least I have insurance that covers it.  And maybe I can go on vacation next summer!

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

What to Expect When You're Expecting...the movie

I'm a girl who likes to go to the movies.  There are some periods of time where my husband and I go every week.  We live about 5 minutes from a theater that only charges $5.50 (used to be $5) for the first showing of any movie so we roll out of bed on Sundays and go to the movies.  We can actually leave when it's supposed to be starting and get there in time for previews!  My mom likes to say I see movies based on who is acting in them not necessarily what they are about.  This might be true.  Either way, I see a lot of movies.
One movie I want to see is "What to Expect When You're Expecting", but I'm not going to lie, I'm not sure if it's a good idea.  If I weren't trying to get pregnant (for so long), I'd see it no problem or if I was already pregnant, I'd see it of course.  But, since I'm not pregnant (that I know of yet) I might end up spending the whole movie crying.  And let's be honest, I've been doing enough of that lately with all the hormones.
It does look like a good movie though, I like the ensemble casts in a movie ala "New Year's Eve" and "Valentine's Day".  I saw a preview for it the other day and Elizabeth Banks' character's phone was going off because she was ovulating and she jumped on her husband.  I can definitely relate to being hyper aware of things like ovulation (and using phone apps to track it)!  I also like the scene where Brooklyn Decker's character sneezes and out pops her baby!  Ha, a girl can dream!

                                                                  In theaters May 18!