Recently, I've gotten this urge to really put my all into making writing my career. It's always been my goal as a career, but it's also always been on the back burner of my life for the most part. But, something shifted, and I've decided I'm only going to do things to move toward that goal. I went to a writing workshop at my local library the other day and the author teaching the class was the same age as me and this really just made me feel like a loser, but it also made me realize I need to get it together and write. It's like I'm trying to get someone to buy a painting I haven't painted yet, as my boss put it the other day. And when you put it that way, it sounds ridiculous!
Today, I read this post on Orangette and it's exactly how I've felt through the years. I don't have this urge to write all the time (probably that would change the more I wrote) so sometimes I wonder if I should just let it go and do something else with my life, but then I remember that when I am writing, I'm feeling the most challenged and happy. When I went on my interview a few years ago for a freelance position at a paper (that is now defunct) it was the best interview I ever had because I was interested in what we were talking about and I knew what I was saying! For the most part, I've always taken jobs to pay the bills and except for that freelance job, they've been boring and meaningless to me and quite honestly, they've made me feel crappy on a regular basis. That's not how I'm looking to spend my life. Which is why I'm now only taking steps towards the life I want. That doesn't mean I can just quit my job tomorrow, but it does mean I can start laying the ground work to eventually write full-time and that's exactly what I'm doing!
Of course, there's quite a list of other things I'd like to be doing along with writing, but I'll get to that in another post!